Tuesday, May 11, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
warning: rantings ahead
ahh tak sabar nak balik rumah!!!
cepatla habis test...rindu kat mak/abah/adek/lil ones at home/kucing.
i want to go home
these are some of the popular sentences used by the UTPians. do YOU miss home?
well one thing's for sure, i don't.
believe it or not i'm rather sad to leave utp after the finals. i DON'T wanna go home. because it means i am going to be a 24/7 bibik.
8am: wake up, open the windows, pull the curtains, scrub the toilet, sweep the floor, mop. cook, food for me. food for my brother. food for my grandparents, food for the cat. and oh, food for my brother again.
clean the stove, clean the oven, do the dishes, wipe the sink, wash clothes, hang clothes to dry. drive my grandma around. if not (which is because it is already 3 in the afternoon and i am soo tired from doing the chores), she'll rant on how incompetent i am compared to her adek punya cucu or cousin punya cousin or someone else's daughter.
finally reached home. grandma sees me lying on the couch. thinks i am soo bored so she gave me another housework thinking that i have at least something to ease my boredom and thus going to have a blast doing it. like she was back in the ancient days.
so she made me sew my grandpa's boxers. or her kain batik. or the koyak pillows. buttons. wipe dust from fan. etc.
on particular days, some relatives would come to visit. and they normally bring chains of small children along. serve them food and drinks. grandma yelled into the kitchen, asking where are the drinks? adek, CEPAT la oiiii!!!
served them hot milo, tea, depending on the time and age of guests. oh look, the kids want some more biscuits. add some more biscuits. what? finish again? add some more biscuits. whhha-wahh-what? biskut habis gyk? yikes, no more biscuits left! ahh just give them my grandpa's. the yucky full of fibres type. yuck, who would eat those?
eh, pun habis? zzz...
guests left, clean up living room, wash the dishes.
ahh, i thought. now for some entertainment... *flicks on tv*
ADEK!!! polah milo pake ninek!!!
hookay, make milo. done.
*walks to living room*
ADEK!!! telepon ninek A lok!!!
*suria melanie hesitatingly lets go of tv remote control*
by then my tv programme has started halfway. no mood to watch. bad internet connection cause using dial-up. hmm, might as well call up my bf. hmm, he's busy night shopping/having dinner/help lil sister do homework, or fixing the door knob, or the water pipes, reading comic/chatting with parents/ relatives. it's ok. call him tomorrow.
*prepares to sleep*
grandpa rants on how he finds it difficult to sleep. soo loud. bla di bla di bla...
3 hours later...
grandpa : HADOH, KNAK AKU MASIH SIK DAPAT TIDO TOK??? bla di bla di bla
*finally, an hour later everyone sleeps.*
8am: ADEK BANGUN MASAK OII!!!
and the bibik cycle starts all over again.
*cries*
p/s: please don't get me wrong. i love them but sometimes less house chores and nags are all i ever wish for. hire a housemaid? nah, my grandma has this taboo for them. my friends get to enjoy their holidays. so why can't i?
Labels: emo
12:00 AM
Friday, May 7, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
confessions of a broken heart
a wise man once told me:
"thank the person that criticized you. for he is trying to point out your mistakes so that you can improve and become a better person."
i tried to hold on to his principle but it's easier said than done. what happens if that person criticized you in front of soo many people? or loud enough to be heard by the ears of your neighbor?
in search for the correct reply you'll notice that people around you have become quiet. leaning in closer to you. eager to hear your response. the moment of truth.
ahh, shall i describe that 'wonderful' moment? you'll stagger for quite a time-depending on how embarrassing the criticism is. some people find it funny, some pretended to be deaf, some just shake their heads, some even joined in.
but at the same time you felt really ashamed by the magnitude of your weak/ugly side being exposed. and my my, are those tears coming? stop stop. not now. aaaah how delightful this is.
and as you are choking back tears, you answer in your most relaxed tone...not wanting to look offended. but deep inside, your mind and heart are both racing. especially if that is the second time you have heard of the same criticism. fine fine, i respect the fact that maybe you just can't stand the way i look/walk/eat. but please...YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD!
i honestly think it is inappropriate to call out others mistake in front of everyone. well, unless you are my lecturer or my boss. try to respect people. i don't go telling people around that their breath stink, or their fashion sense is a bit catastrophic(not that i'm a fashion girl myself), or too fat, or too rude...i don't because that's how you respect people. you tell them their weaknesses one on one, not one to many!
but never mind, there's a lesson to this. to teach us not to make others mistake and prove to yourself that you won't repeat it.
simply because everyone is unique. and we still have so much to learn from this vast universe that He has created.
respect yourself. and others too. do not forget about Karma baby! :)
Labels: emo
12:00 AM
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
hi. my name's Suria.
it irks me that people use "eh" or "hoi" to call out to you.
i have a name okay. it's Suria. or Melanie. get it?
please don't do that again. (you know who you are)
Labels: emo
9:44 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
Well I can't explain why it's not enough, cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's been too long pretending
When the pieces don't fit anymore, pieces don't fit here anymore...
Labels: emo
8:22 PM
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
i look at the moon
through the empty sky
wondering how it is like to be far away
from problems
complications...
and my eyes hurt
there's something in my eyes
i washed fervently with water
rub it few times with my knuckles
no matter what i do the tickling pain is still there
relentless, stubborn
why can't you just go away?
you are hurting me
i hate you
you suck
please...just go away...
i can't take it anymore
m begging you...
i am depressed
yes i do have friends
but i'm more of a suffer-inside type
anger, sad, confused
combo 3 in 1?
sigh
is this how it feels like growing up?
no fun at all
everyday i wake up
gotta drag myself up
with little motivation
to whatever is inevitable
i suppose so...
since everything seems like crap
please please
i just want to be happy
is that too much to ask for?
every single day
i walk to class
whilst looking down
not much of in a favor
to look up
and acknowledge those i know of
because i am too preoccupied
with the combo of sadness
then again
i don't want people to cheer me up
that will make my problems looked real
and sleep is just a way to escape
my head keeps telling me
"suria you can't go on like this.."
but the other part of me says
"i can do whatever i like. who cares? so hush!"
God can i pull through this?
until when?
when...?
Labels: emo
10:10 PM
the stories that happened yesterday
Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh
No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh
The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh
You're fine for a while but you start to lose control
Labels: emo
2:00 PM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday
and i hate it when i broke someone else's piece of art. i am so sorry Yam :(Labels: emo
10:04 PM
the stories that happened yesterday
i just wanna cry
"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved"
-Mother Teresa.
i hate being alone.
sometimes i say bad stuff about the IRCC because it took my friends away, leaving me sad and alone.
tonight they are going to have the KL drift movie premiere here. i wouldn't be going since i have no one to go with.
i wanted to donate blood today but when i imagine seeing my blood and other people's blood my knees turn to jelly.
i had a nap just now, only to be awoke because of the heat.
i hate it when you are busy.
i hate it when there's a pop quiz. somehow i'm never ready.
i don't understand why you don't reply my text.
i hate it when you don't reply my text.
i hate it when people don't flush the toilet after doing their business.
i hate it when i'm sad and can only think of the negatives right now.
i hate it when the bathroom's full.
i hate it when you take a shower in the toilet and then clog up the floor. wonder just why you won't use the real shower cubicles?
i find it weird yet annoying when people just won't close the door after entering.
i don't like to sleep with the lights on. i would wake up with a very bad mood.
i hate last minute changes.
i hate it that you turn my ideas into something so lame.
i hate it when people laugh at my ideas.
i am so angry and sad now.
why is perak so hot? omaigot.
i hate it when people make fun of my looks. they think they're so perfect.
i hate it when i have to laugh along with the stupid jokes they made about me; because if not, they would think i was upset. see? although you make fun of me i still have the heart to jaga yours okay?
i hate it when i see missed calls or texts that have been for me made hours ago. i feel guilty.
i hate it when i don't have the money to buy what i really want.
i hate it when you see me, you pretended not to notice.
i hate latecomers.
i hate it when you 'steal' what is actually mine.
i hate it when you made a promise to meet up and unfortunately both are just to busy to meet up but you still blame yourself.
i hate it when i am just to tired to fall asleep. yes, there is such thing.
i hate it when it's noisy when i just wanted to sleep.
i hate to tell you about your bad habits since you are so sensitive.
i hate it when i am trying hard to mend our relationship but you are just not supportive.
i hate it when my room is messy.
i hate comparisons.
i terribly hate it when i thought i had done the right thing for test, soon after there will be people discussing about the answers and for no apparent reason they sounded so confident. psychologically you assume your answers were wrong.
i hate it when pretty people gets the attention. let's say you are walking with one and other people just look at her, you no longer exist.
i hate it when in fact you can trace my sad voice but not doing anything to lighten it.
i hate being far from my family.
i hate it when you get confuse with lust and love.
do you know that it is disrespectful when you speak any language apart from English during a meeting? please think of others too okay?
i hate the fact that i might have done whatever i have wrote above. sorry.
Labels: emo
8:15 PM
