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this is me

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classified FBI profile

rewind my past
BEWARE!!! you are now reading the confessions of the not-so-shopaholic guru

Suriram Ram

Create Your Badge

the beautiful one inside out

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the caring brother

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bestfriends.end of story.

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the loving one

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maru maru

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talk to me my darlingzz

grand exits

liang yi
jia lin
rose arienah
lep lop
jia seng
bujang hine

grand exits

suri cruise
the pink stilettos
schazwany hameed
karen cheng
hunny madu
barney stinson

the historys to forget

June 2009
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
July 2010

the sources of love

Designer : DEAD-dolliie

Thursday, February 25, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday

weird but true?

Last nite i dreamt of Anis. He was sitting there proudly, nostrils flaring. But as my eyes turned to a focus, he had TWO roti naans in each of his nostrils! Ironically, everything seemed real and normal in a dream so i did not ask him anything. When i woke up, i smacked my forehead and thought what a dumbass i was.

Yeah, is sucks not to know Adobe Photoshop -.-" Few times today I thought back about that stupid dream. Know how people mention that whatever you encounter throughout the day, it has a very good chance of showing up in your dream? I may have dreamt of roti naan because there is this new roti naan stall at V3 cafe. But roti naans to be shoved into my boyfriend's nostril??? tak paham.

Then I started to think back of all the weird things i've encountered. Back in primary school, when i was 8...my friend, Angeline and I were best buddies. Have you ever experienced how badly you wanted to smack that annoying mosquito out of your sight but it magically DISAPPEARS? Well Angeline had a 'theory': The mosquito flew into your eyes, passed through your eyes and then flew out again through your other ear. As stupid as i was back then, i agreed. We both did.

Angeline!!! seriously??? haha

When i was 12, i asked my friend Lya of how babies do exist. She got quiet, looked distant, eyebrows furrowed for a while, searching for an answer. When finally she came to a conclusion and said "I think maybe when our mommies and daddies kiss, they transfer their saliva. So the saliva mixture when down into the mommies tummy and zap! ada baby!" Still stupid again, i nodded in agreement. Omaigot! Past Lya and Suria, if you are reading this, Omaigot?!!?

Lya, we were soo innocent back then!

Apart from all that weird theory, it is still weird to me that Sherene now has changed into a hot, sexy, talented person. Not to say that she wasn't all that in school but now just multiply all that with a constant 2.

For example,

1. She wears heels now. Bak kata her mak "God created us not to walk on tiptoes!". I still am a firm believer of that Mdm Isabella :)

2. She celebrates Valentine's Day!!! I remember how she used to detest Valentine's day because why only on that particular day should we say I Love You? Now how la Sherene?

ooo now we know why........... hehehe

3. She wears makeup.

4. And she deserves to have another bonus mark because she gave me the best smelling perfume di duniaaa!!!

Grasias woman!!! :DDD

Weird as they seemed, they still manage to put a smile on my face. Thank you :)


3:44 PM

Wednesday, February 24, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday

i look at the moon

through the empty sky

wondering how it is like to be far away

from problems


and my eyes hurt

there's something in my eyes

i washed fervently with water

rub it few times with my knuckles

no matter what i do the tickling pain is still there

relentless, stubborn

why can't you just go away?

you are hurting me

i hate you

you suck

please...just go away...

i can't take it anymore

m begging you...

i am depressed

yes i do have friends

but i'm more of a suffer-inside type

anger, sad, confused

combo 3 in 1?


is this how it feels like growing up?

no fun at all

everyday i wake up

gotta drag myself up

with little motivation

to whatever is inevitable

i suppose so...

since everything seems like crap

please please

i just want to be happy

is that too much to ask for?

every single day

i walk to class

whilst looking down

not much of in a favor

to look up

and acknowledge those i know of

because i am too preoccupied

with the combo of sadness

then again

i don't want people to cheer me up

that will make my problems looked real

and sleep is just a way to escape

my head keeps telling me

"suria you can't go on like this.."

but the other part of me says

"i can do whatever i like. who cares? so hush!"

God can i pull through this?

until when?



10:10 PM

the stories that happened yesterday

Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh

No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh

The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh

You're fine for a while but you start to lose control



2:00 PM

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday

and i hate it when i broke someone else's piece of art. i am so sorry Yam :(


10:04 PM

the stories that happened yesterday

i just wanna cry

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved"
-Mother Teresa.

i hate being alone.

sometimes i say bad stuff about the IRCC because it took my friends away, leaving me sad and alone.

tonight they are going to have the KL drift movie premiere here. i wouldn't be going since i have no one to go with.

i wanted to donate blood today but when i imagine seeing my blood and other people's blood my knees turn to jelly.

i had a nap just now, only to be awoke because of the heat.

i hate it when you are busy.

i hate it when there's a pop quiz. somehow i'm never ready.

i don't understand why you don't reply my text.

i hate it when you don't reply my text.

i hate it when people don't flush the toilet after doing their business.

i hate it when i'm sad and can only think of the negatives right now.

i hate it when the bathroom's full.

i hate it when you take a shower in the toilet and then clog up the floor. wonder just why you won't use the real shower cubicles?

i find it weird yet annoying when people just won't close the door after entering.

i don't like to sleep with the lights on. i would wake up with a very bad mood.

i hate last minute changes.

i hate it that you turn my ideas into something so lame.

i hate it when people laugh at my ideas.

i am so angry and sad now.

why is perak so hot? omaigot.

i hate it when people make fun of my looks. they think they're so perfect.

i hate it when i have to laugh along with the stupid jokes they made about me; because if not, they would think i was upset. see? although you make fun of me i still have the heart to jaga yours okay?

i hate it when i see missed calls or texts that have been for me made hours ago. i feel guilty.

i hate it when i don't have the money to buy what i really want.

i hate it when you see me, you pretended not to notice.

i hate latecomers.

i hate it when you 'steal' what is actually mine.

i hate it when you made a promise to meet up and unfortunately both are just to busy to meet up but you still blame yourself.

i hate it when i am just to tired to fall asleep. yes, there is such thing.

i hate it when it's noisy when i just wanted to sleep.

i hate to tell you about your bad habits since you are so sensitive.

i hate it when i am trying hard to mend our relationship but you are just not supportive.

i hate it when my room is messy.

i hate comparisons.

i terribly hate it when i thought i had done the right thing for test, soon after there will be people discussing about the answers and for no apparent reason they sounded so confident. psychologically you assume your answers were wrong.

i hate it when pretty people gets the attention. let's say you are walking with one and other people just look at her, you no longer exist.

i hate it when in fact you can trace my sad voice but not doing anything to lighten it.

i hate being far from my family.

i hate it when you get confuse with lust and love.

do you know that it is disrespectful when you speak any language apart from English during a meeting? please think of others too okay?

i hate the fact that i might have done whatever i have wrote above. sorry.


8:15 PM

Monday, February 22, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday


I saw the man I've been admiring today, Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor!!! Omaigot. At first I totally forgot it was today till someone mentioned to me. I felt lucky that by the time he's going to make his speech I was able to attend since I have an hour gap before my next lecture. So I dragged Liang Yi along. She had no other choice :P

The victim

I was practically walking at a very fast rate, my cheeks all flushed from the heat, sweat pouring, my baju and tudong senget because I was far too excited. Euphoria. Liang Yi had had to wear the cool mask. She told me to calm down and walk slower. Pity her, I did not listen so she had to keep up with my Sonic the Hedgehog pace. Ngahaha...

Omaigot omaigot omaigot!!!

As we reached Chancellor Hall and finally slowed down a bit, we wanted to go in but malu. My eyes went wild, looking around for my IDOL. Then I saw my friend Puteri, so we chatted a little while. I asked her "Sheikh Muszaphar ney??? Ada dalam ka???". She said yes then something else but I wasn't listening because GOOD GRACIOUS SHEIKH MUSZAPHAR WAS HEADING TOWARDS OUR DIRECTION!!!

My whole body froze as I my jaw dropped at the sight of this very handsome astronaut...Tall and handsome as he is, he was walking to the toilet. When he was gone, I was like "Liang Yi!!! omaigot!!!" as I did all the normal things a crazy fan would do - jumped, grinned like a clown and shaking my hands. Liang Yi smiled, she still looked.....calm. I can never understand you girl.

I erm, WE waited for him after that. I especially ordered my victim to be ready to snap my picture with him. And she did:

well I did take a picture with him...i was in, so was he, so it's still counted as a picture together right???

He looked old from a closer view. But still handsome. Hmm forgivable. I did not get to take the 'real' picture with him because the organizing committee did not approve of doing so... T.T

After that, the both of us went to our seats which was very very far at the top back. There were a lot of primary and kindy students too. Sheikh Muszaphar began his speech talking about his whole experience on the astronaut stuff. Do you know that you cannot be an astronaut if you have fillings in any of your teeth? Or that you must be not too tall? Your back bone's length must not be more than 99cm. His was 96cm. Close enough...

Because we had a class in the next few minutes, we cabut larh. I managed to give him a flying kiss. Bye Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor...bersyukor saye dapat tengok anda. Oh!

A very satisfied fan

Thank you IRCC committees and Anis Izzuddin. Although Sheikh Muszpahar is WAY more handsome than you, he would never replace you in my heart. Oh!

Me heart you!

You guys have truly done a wonderful job bringing him here. Seeing him actually makes me feel like I've granted one of my childish wishes. I actually had an album of it back home. Ngahaha.


7:11 PM

Saturday, February 20, 2010
the stories that happened yesterday

There are 10 things that I love the most.

1. Sambal sotong

I crave for it all the time. And I can NEVER get sick of it. NEVER...

Thus, on my wedding day, I want it to be the main dish! *grins* I don't care if you people are vegetarian or just to scared to eat spicy...you must must MUST have some of this on my wedding day!!! hrmmph!!!

ok, just kidding. If like that no one would show up. It would be just my husband and I. Probably with a few family & friends. And the outsiders would think it is some sort of a private wedding. An exclusive one...or one that's when the bride's 7 months pregnant and she just couldn't bear the attention other people would give her thus the very small amount of guests...

2. Baby pictures

A picture can mean a thousand things. I know that is downright cliche but for me, those pictures with innocent looking things drooling just melt my heart away. Haha. I said "things". How irony is that? Anyway, by just looking at an old pictures brings back both good and bad memories. When I look at my dad's pictures I would start thinking how my life would be if he is still around. Would I be as loud as I am now or the other way around?

It's funny how a picture can either literally motivate or worse, hurt you. The pictures don't talk, they just stay there, demanding your eyes to look at them and figure out the rest.

my mom and I

anis and his dad

Shrek: "Babies??? They cry when they poop and they poop when they cry!" haha

3. Rainbow

Rainbows cheers me up, as if there is hope somewhere in this hectic, ugly world. and at times I still do wonder what lies by the end of the rainbow...fairy creatures and whatnot... ok I know you think I am childish and watched too many cartoons...yeah, I still do watch cartoons now. Like the Madagascar penguins, Simpsons...like if I need a lift in my mood, I would certainly watch them cartoons. Or rather, just close my eyes and sleep. Simple.

4. Cats

I find it weird when people got freaked out by the sight of cats. Sad. Whereas in reality they are the cutest furry things alive! Oops...I said "things" again. Bunyi mcm xda nyawa. LoL. When I see cats, I would instinctively call them Maru Maru. Well at first it was just meow, then to maw, to marr, finally evolved to maru, and because it sounds adorable I said it twice! = maru maru~~~ :P

5. Family & Friends

Without these two groups of people I bet I won't be where I am right now. Family knows something that your friends don't know and friends know a part of you that your family doesn't know of. That's why they are so interconnected. Like when 2 octopus got tangled up since they have too many legs. haha.

However friends can be your family too...being far away from home and the fact that my most of my family members use Digi instead of Celcom makes calling the very last option available. That's why I turned to my friends here. When I'm sad or happy. Because sleeping just doesn't work all the time. Hehehe

6. Beach

This picture was taken when I was 7 years old, at Damai Beach.

Everytime I find it hard to sleep, I closed my eyes and pictured the sea lay before me, foaming and fizzing as it gushed towards me, bubbling as it was sucked back. I kicked off my slippers, feet cold, waiting for the sea to try gobble them up. And the tide is coming, racing towards me. Tremors of excitement filled me as I ran backwards...I inhaled the sea breeze...wind blowing hair into my face...the sound of the sea water splashing by the shore...nothing but pure clarity. I look up, see nothing but cute clouds and try to figure what they look like. A dragon? A bear? Probably Einstein?

I want to go back to that memory on the beach. I want to go back where I was at before my problems come creeping in...

I wanted to picture myself in this situation, playing ball by the beach. Which apparently I am not very good at. The sight of a ball just scares me. I mean, what if it hits me right in the face? Or I accidentally stumbled upon one? and drop face first into the ground? And people thinking "omaigot, that's kinda embarassing....let's just give her a break though. Looks like the ball is going to murder her if not today, then one day..."

Ok I'm being paranoid. :(

7. The jumping pose

I love it! It's as if people just let loose you know...they seemed to forget their problems, thus lighten their minds a lil...so light that they can jump up high!

err yeah.......

8. music

I love music soo much I'd rather be late for class just because I am still unmoved, not aware of the time, just lingering in my room listening to the music. Marie Digby's Avalanche is cool.

9. babies

They gurgle and coo when they are toothless, they ask too many questions when they already have teeth. They laugh a lot. Not even an issue to deal with in their tiny fragrant after-shampoo-heads. Those chubby fingers, cheeks...crying to get the adult's attention is nothing but normal, even we adults still do that...in a discrete manner of course.

They live such happy lives, with hide-n-seek, tag!, pooping and someone is always there to help wash you, spoon-feed you...comfort you...singing you a lullaby, reading you a Sin Chan comic book before you go to sleep...ahh...

10. sunflowers

Do they have any fragrance? Because I've never heard of descriptions from a perfume bottle saying "with a fruity combination of japanese blossoms, strawberries and sunflowers..."

Anyhoo, they are yellow in color and could instantly light up my mood a little. My name means Sun, after all...matahari, or as Punt my Thailand pal translated: Eye Of The Day. Haha that works too, I guess huh Punt? :)


11:46 PM